A Little Less Conversation
by ladykarinsky
Summary: With a re-imagined ending to the wedding episode, Nick & Jess take a leap of faith in themselves. Can Jess trust Nick not to break her heart? Is Nick ready to fall in love again? **1st chapter has been updated to include a companion one shot**
1. Chapter 1

So they had called it. And it had sucked. But after a couple of hours, a few beers, and sheer exhaustion setting in, neither of them had the strength to avoid each other for long. It was just easier to pretend they had never "happened". So when leading him onto the dance floor was like tugging a yak through mud, it felt like nothing had changed. He didn't want to dance, she knew that. But damned if she wasn't going to dance at her best friends wedding, even if Cece had ultimately backed out.

"Jess, come on, I just wanna go home and forget this day ever happened." Nick sighed at her, moving not so smoothly behind her.

"No, I'm the maid of honor and I'm not leaving until I get one dance!" she exclaimed. "How am I gonna live with myself Nick, the rest of my life knowing I not only ruined Ceces wedding, but didn't even get a dance out of it?"

"Ugh, okay fine, _one_ dance, and then I'm leaving." Jess rounded on him, and suddenly his arm was wrapped around her waist while she brought her hands up to his lapel, tugging while she looked over his noticeably clean shaven face.

"Really? Is it so terrible that you have to hold me while we move around to music?" she asked.

_It's terrible that the music won't last forever. _Looking into her eyes, those eyes, the answer formed on his lips but luckily died before he could speak it. So he opted for resignation. "I guess it's not so bad."

Instantly regretting such a flippant line, his embarrassment faded as he watched a delicate smile form on her face.

"So..."she sighed heavily.

"So."

"Today was..."

"A disaster!" he chuckled.

A low giggle escaping her lips, she agreed, "Yes, most definitely a disaster. And mostly your fault."

Taken aback, Nick guffawed at this. "Me?! None of this would have happened if you hadn't thought I was scheming with Schmidt! No, if this is anyone's fault, it's yours, Day. As Ceces best friend, you should have known she didn't want to marry the guy."

Jess's eyes widened in surprise. "Ha! No way, mister. As the best friend of the lovestruck ex-boyfriend, you should have been on him like frosting on cake. Like syrup on pancakes."

"Wha - syrup, what are you even talk - "

"Like gum on a shoe."

"Alright, i get -"

"Cause they're sticky."

"Alright!" he exclaimed.

As they slipped back into silence, their smiles faded into thoughtfulness, each one holding the other and not really thinking of anything other than how comfortable they were. And like that they stayed, softly and slowly moving on the dance floor, not noticing that one, then two, then three songs had passed them by. By song four, Jess had settled her head snugly onto Nicks chest, while he rested his head atop hers. Feeling the effects of a long day, their eyes fluttered in and out of wakefulness, and neither noticed when they were the only two left on the floor.

"Jess." Nick whispered.

"hm?" she breathed.

"Jess?" He said, just as quiet, but more firmly. "Jess - we have to go."

Not ready to come back to the world, Jess only nuzzled deeper into him. "No, I'm good."

"No, Jess, I mean - we HAVE to stop".

"What, why?" She looked up at him then, and saw a strange look on his face. It was unfamiliar to her, but all at once she knew. Knew what he was about to do, what he'd been putting off saying. She hadn't been ready when Nick Miller kissed her. She wasn't ready when she realized she wanted him. Nothing could have prepared her for their first night together. And when they called it - when HE called it – she wasn't prepared for the pain that washed over her. And now, when she should have readied herself for what was coming, instead she looked into his eyes and knew her guile wasn't going to hold.

"Come on, you know why. What are we doing? We called it. We can't pretend everything is ok. It's not. And it won't be, not if we stay like this. I can't..." He was struggling to find the words, to find a way to salvage what strength he had.

"What, Nick? What, now we're not friends anymore?" Getting angry, she pulled back, looking him in the eye. "You think that because you've got some hang-up about being a failure – or whatever your excuse is – that you get to be the only one who decides this? No, Nick. You're gonna have to suck it up, because things are going to have to get back to normal somehow."

"We can't be what we were. I'm not just your friend, I'm not your just roommate. There's no word for what we are, and it's confusing as hell. I don't know what to do from here, and it's driving me crazy! I can't look at you without wanting to kiss you and now - "

Jess pulled him down to her, pressing her lips to hers, quietly letting her kiss speak for her. Breaking away, Nick closed his eyes and rested against her forehead. Heavy breaths steadied him, and waiting for the buzzing in his ears to subside, he took her hands into his and sighed heavily. He could feel her looking at him, her gaze burning into him, but he didn't dare look up. He had to keep going.

And then she spoke.

"Nick, I don't know where to go from here either. I don't know if this is a mistake. I don't know if you're too much of a mess. How about I tell you what I do know? I know when I come home and you're not there, it feels empty. I know when I have a drink that you didn't make, it doesn't taste as good, and I know that sounds stupid, but... I know that when you kiss me, I'm not thinking about loft dynamics or stupid arguments, because all i can see and hear are bright lights and electric pops that make me want never stop kissing you. This can be something...amazing. If you can trust me."

Finally opening his eyes and looking into hers, Nick knew he had failed. Failed to keep up that wall, failed to keep the resolve that would have prevented what was about to happen. He was going to trust her.

And with that, he pulled her into another, deeper kiss, letting go of the last bit of doubt, letting the feeling of her pressing into him wash over his body. With her he knew it would be different. This was it, and he was ready.

* * *

The ride home had been a bluster of noise. If Nick ever had a hard time expressing himself to a friend, he seemed to have no qualms about talking to his... well... they'd talk about that later. But for now, he was, as Schmidt would put it, a "Chatty Cathy". He breezed easily from topic to topic, and while Jess was all for getting to know this new side of Nick, she kind of had planned on this night going a different direction, with less talking and more _doing_.

Little did she know that this new found desire to share his thoughts was less out of a need to communicate and more out one to calm his nerves. That first night with Jess had been unexpected. Amazing. Unsettling. With other women, sex had been basically a function of moving forward, a step he had to take to reach the next level, always fun, sometimes awkward, but a means to an end. None had made him feel so vulnerable, so exposed, while making him feel like he was _home_. It was this way with Jess, and now with that first release of passion extinguished, it seemed like the only place to go was down.

And so rather than dwell on that thought, he yammered on about his brother's upcoming wedding, the overly friendly guy at the bar, and the weird smell coming from Schmidt's room of late.

"I mean, it smells like eggs rotting in a diaper, but I can't find the source! Sometimes I think maybe he finally snapped and is hiding the bodies of the badly dressed in there."

Jess scrunched up her face at this thought, both out of disgust and consideration, and dismissed it while Nick moved on to the next subject. As they pulled up to the loft, Nick shut off the car but kept his hands on the wheel. Jess moved to get out when he spoke.

"Jess, before we go up, I gotta tell ya something, and it's gonna sound crazy, but could we just pretend, you know, tonight, that I don't know you sing to yourself and you don't know I can't take care of a cactus? I just mean that, can we pretend for tonight that we don't know everything about eachother already?"

Eyeing him toyingly, she took the hint. "Oh! You mean like role play? Why Nick Miller, didn't know you were so creative. So what's the angle?", then adopting her best 1940's voice, "Out of all the gin joints in the world... wait no, that's Bogie. You be Bogie"

Nick's eye's widened at not only the misunderstanding but also the quickness with which she was ready for anything. "What?! Jess, no that's not what I – look, I just mean, we've lived together for 2 years. We already know everything about each other, good, bad …. singing... but tonight I want it to be different. Unknown."

"What's so bad about knowing everything? Are you saying you're already bored?" Lightly teasing him, she lightly tugged on his tie, and pulling him close, whispered, "You don't know as much as you think you do, Nick Miller." Breathing into his ear, she caught his eyes, seeing in them a curiosity she was eager to feed. Letting go of his tie, she got out of the car and after a moment to catch his breath, Nick followed her into the building.

They rode the elevator in silence, and making his way to the door, Nick fumbled for the apartment key. Making this task harder was Jess, who seemed to have a vice grip on his eyes, holding his stare with cerulean orbs. Stepping into the dark loft and softly closing the door behind them, they continued to hold each others stare as they walked towards their rooms, which is why they didn't see Bob sleeping right where he had promised, between their doors, in the middle of the hall. And why they fell in a heap, for the second time that day.

"Ow, what the, WHO'S THERE? Oh God, I knew i'd die here, don't go to LA they said!"

"Oh, dad, omigod, are you ok?"

"Jess? Jess, is that you? Jess, what are you doing, what – wait, that's not your face..."

Nick was petrified, rooted to the spot where he fell, his face scrunched up in the hands of Jess's father. "Hi, Bob."


	2. Chapter 2

**A/n – thanks for the continued support all! A big shout out to MayaLala, who has been a great guide for this new writer :)**

Chapter 2

Sitting at the table, Jess handed her dad an ice pack. "Dad, are you sure you're ok? Do you want some pie? Or maybe cake? I can bake a cake - "

Waving her away, Bob placed the ice pack on his rib. "No, no, honey I'm fine, just fine. This bozo here just cracked my rib, it's fine, I'll just sit here and bleed out while you guys finish sneaking around."

"Dad!" Jess exclaimed. "We weren't sneaking around, we – Nick? Wha-"

Jess's eyes followed Nick, who had bolted towards Winston's room. "NICK! What are you doing?"

Coming back into the room, Nick exclaimed "BLEED OUT! Winston! I totally forgot, Winston got bitten by the badger and I left him at the bar - he's not home, I gotta go." Genuine concern mixed with relief washed over him, as he was about to be excused from this really unbearable situation. He started towards the door when he felt Jess pull at his collar.

"Oh no you don't!" she hissed. "Schmidt texted me an hour ago, he's with Winston at the hospital, he's fine. If you even think of leaving again, you're gonna wish I let my dad have at you."

Nicks eyes widened at the threat, and turning back towards Bob he said "Bob! Can I help you with that, you need anything?"

Bob narrowed his eyes at the good for nothing in front of him and said "I think you've done enough, Rick."

"Look dad, you're sure you don't need anything? Really, I can - "

"No, really I'm fine, you should go to bed, it's been a long day, my red eye flight leaves in a few hours anyway, so I 'm just gonna stay up and make sure nothing happens with Rick here."

"It's Nick, dad." Jess sighed, and looked over at Nick, who had his hands in his pockets and a resigned look on his face. "Alright, I'm gonna go to bed." Giving Nick a little nod under her dads watchful glare, she left him there.

The numbers on the clock didn't seem to change at all. Minutes crept by, hours, and then she heard it. The shuffling of luggage, the clicking of the front door, and then silence. And then... a soft knock at her door. Jess shot up from her bed and opening the door, took in the sight of Nick Miller, clad in a t shirt and boxers, looking straight through her. Stepping forward, he cupped her face and took her lips for his own, searing them with confident passion. Walking her back into her room but never leaving her mouth, Nick backed into the door to close it, and then sliding his hands down her sides, he turned her with him so her back was to the door, and lifted her body as she wrapped her legs around him. He hadn't noticed until now what she was wearing, but as he pushed the familiar feeling material above her waist, he smirked when he realized he was going to be unbuttoning his own red flannel shirt.

* * *

Laying in the dark next to Nick Miller was not new. Jess couldn't remember how may time they had fallen asleep on the couch, only to wake up a lot closer than where they started. No, what was new was the arm casually draped across her stomach. Recalling the events of the past few days led to memories of the last weeks and months, and eventually a time when Nick was just her new roommate. He had been gruff, and terse, when she moved in. The first week she paid him no attention, she was so consumed with her heartbreak over Spencer.

Ugh! Spencer! How different he was from the man next to her now. Nick would never hurt her the way Spence had. But... she thought that about him too. Even though she had been blind to his faults, she thought he was the one for her, the one person who would make her life complete. Jess trusted Spence with her heart, her future. Then when she caught him with _her, _he was so nonchalant about it, like she was an afterthought.

And suddenly Jess was terrified. Could Nick do this too? Could she trust him with her heart? _No! Nick would never betray her. _She glanced back to his sleeping form, running her fingers lightly along his arm. As he began to stir, she decided what she really needed was a cup of tea and a change of scenery, and so she slowly lifted herself from his embrace and left this room for the soft lights of the kitchen.

What had felt like five minutes had turned into 30 when Winston came through the door with Schmidt following behind.

"I did not scream, I _might_ have gasped, but -"

"Oh come on!" Schmidt exclaimed "There were 10 year old girls laughing at you."

Winston ranted on. "What are 10 year olds doing there anyway? That movie was totally inappropriate! Where are their parents? Someone should report them to, you know, the people that you reports things like that to."

Making his way into the kitchen, Schmidt found Jess deep in thought, staring into her now cold cup of tea. "Ah, I see you've emerged from your sex cocoon to wallow in regret and shame."

Snapped out of her reverie, Jess glanced up. How long had she been here? "Hm? Oh, no, just, you know. _Re _hydrating."

Winston crinkled his nose at the insinuation, quickly filling a glass with water. But he noticed her tea was untouched, and she hadn't even bothered to take the spoon out. "Ok. Is that all?"

Looking at the two of them, Jess wasn't sure she was up for talking it out, but considering her alternative was to go back into that room like this... "This month has been really... great. And I thought I was ready for this, but I just feel like maybe it's too much, too soon, you know? I mean, what if this isn't what I think it is? What if Nick's not who I thought he was? I can't do that again."

Schmidt laughed it off." Nick's the same guy he always was, a mean, grumpy, poor stubble faced man-child, incapable of expressing his feelings. DAMMIT! You guys put my Yucca Mint coffee beans in the cabinet again? These are imported! They have to be kept cool for optimum flavor release! That's it, I'm ordering that Brookstone Mini-Frigidaire. Heathens." With that, Schmidt bounded off to his room, slamming the door.

Winston, taking it in, seemed to realize what she was referring to. "Pretend that was just some psycho ranting. Or Schmidt. But don't listen to him. Jess – You can't let what happened with one guy mess up everything you feel for someone else. Even if it is Nick."

Sighing, Jess continued, "I know that, and I'm trying to shake it off, but there's just this little voice in my head telling me to run, reminding me that the last time I loved someone, I was run over. What if Nick..."

Stopping her there, Winston took to his friends defense." Look, I've known Nick most of my life. He's not good with feelings or chores or pets. But he's loyal. You've earned his trust, and that's something he's not gonna give up. But you're gonna have to trust him back. Have you seen the way he looks at you? I'm telling you Jess, he's not Spencer. That boy's in it for the long haul." Pausing a moment to take a drink, he looked down into his glass, slowly swishing the last of it about. "Love, huh?"

Jess's eyes sparkled above her smile. "Shut up." Going to take a sip of her tea, she recoiled. "Ew! Aw man!, that was my last Lady Grey! I guess I better head back to bed anyway. Hey Winston? Thanks."

Winston gave her a quick nod, and as Jess took her cup to the sink, he made his way to his room, making sure to give a stunned Nick, who had been standing in the hallway, a raised eyebrow and a smile.


	3. Chapter 3

Nick had barely made it back into his bed when Jess quietly opened his door. His heart racing, he willed it angrily to _calm the hell down. _Keeping his eyes closed he felt the weight of her small frame sink into the bed beside him, and he took the opportunity to roll over towards the wall. He felt her hand snake up and over his shoulder, her warm breath near his ear. "Good night Nick." She kissed his hair lightly and shuffled back down into the blankets, turning from him a going silent. His eyes popped open, as his thoughts turned back to what he had heard from the hallway. Did he hear her right? Does she.. _love_ him? While he silently thanked his lucky stars every time he kissed her, he had been waiting since that night in the parking lot for the other shoe to drop. For Jess to snap out of it and realize she could do better. That this thing with him was a placeholder until someone more worthy came into her life. And he had tried. God help him, he had tried to keep some distance. As much as he had wanted to let his feelings for her take him over, there were still so many pieces of his broken heart left to put back. But mornings had turned into nights, and days into weeks, and they fell into a comfortable routine that was more them than they had ever been when they were apart. Until one week ago.

* * *

_One Week Ago_

"This is useless, what the hell am I supposed to do here? Help Me!" Nick was desperate. He'd never seen Jess so mad before. Well, other than that time Schmidt used the last of her yarn to "entertain" a questionable guest. She'd never been this mad at _him_. She had been mad at him more times than he could count, but never like this. And he probably deserved it.

Winston put his hand on Nick's shoulder. "Calm down man, it's probably not that bad. We just need to see where it lands on the Scale of Stupid, and go from there. Now, start over, tell me what happened."

Nick buried his face in his hands, pulling them up and into a fistful of hair. "It's exactly what I said before. She was sitting at the bar, I turned to get a clean glass, and Shane was right there. I don't know here she came from! Grrrr!" He slammed his hands down on the table.

Winston urged him on. "Alright, it's ok, then what?"

Going on, Nick said, "I moved to my right and backed up against the bar so she could get around me, bu that space is so damn tight, she still had to squeeze by, and I don't know what I was thinking – shit – I said 'not the first time we've done that'." Nick paused and took a deep breath, continuing on. "It was like in slow motion, ya know? I heard myself say it, and I don't know, I just ... and then I saw her face, and... man I don't know what to do now. "

Winston was silent. Nick looked at him expectantly. "Come on, say somethin'!"

Winston, put his hands together on the table, and calmly replied "My friend, I think you broke the Scale of Stupid. I think you might need your own jar for this."

Putting his head on the table, Nick resigned himself to his fate. "She's gonna end it. I'm done for. I'm an idiot."

"You are an idiot." Winston assured him. "But this is fixable. This is Jess, okay? The girl couldn't hold a grudge if it was covered in fuzzy polka dots. Come on, I have an idea."

An hour later and three aisles in, all the cards started to look the same. "A card? This is lame, Jess is gonna think I couldn't even say 'sorry' without help."

"You can't". Winston replied. "That's why we're here, to find that perfect card that says ' I'm an idiot, please don't stop having sex with me'".

Nick's face went into turtle mode. "They have those?"

Ignoring him, Winston picked up a card with a field of poppies on it. "Look, here's one: 'Forgiveness is the water on the field of the soul'. Hm. I would have thought happiness was the water. Forgiveness is more like the pesticide."

Nick shook his head. "No, no it needs to be more... look, what about this one?" Holding a card with a picture of a fat bluebird on it reading 'Sorry for being such a pecker'. Rethinking his decision, he placed it back in the slot. "No, definitely not that one." After what seemed like a hundred cards, Winston concluded the game was up. Looking around for Nick, he found him in front of the anniversary cards

"Hey, I think we've run out of ideas here and ...ah.. what are you doing?"

"I think I found it."

Winston took it from him, looking at the card. It was simple in design, white with swirling blue and teal ink, creating the illusion of cresting water. Opening the card, he read:

_The ocean in your eyes_

_creates waves of passion in me_

_The more I look into your eyes_

_The harder the waves crash against my heart_

_Happy Anniversary_

Quickly reading over the rest of the card Winston looked up. "Uh, Nick? This is an anniversary card."

"Yeah, so? I figured I'd just white out the 'Happy Anniversary ' part."

"We're looking for an 'I'm Sorry' card. "

"This one says what I want to say."

"You can't give this to her, are you crazy? This is a serious card, not a 'dating for a month' card. This is a card you give your wife, your girlfriend, someone you're in love with - "

Nick interrupted him "Yeah, that's right!" Nick looked into Winston's shocked face, and for a moment was confused as to why it was so. And then what he said started to sink in. Clearing his throat, he snatched the card out of Winston's hand.

"Ahem, oh, man, yeah, your right. Um, you know what, I'll just get a blank one and write 'I'm sorry' and get her some flowers, mmkay? Let's just forget about this and go home."

Winston walked behind him, his shock wearing off into a soft smile. Quietly, he spoke. "Sure man, whatever you say."

* * *

Shuddering at the memory of that day, Nick rolled back towards Jess, who was now sound asleep. Jess had accepted his apology and everything seemed to return to normal. But something inside Nick had changed and it scared him. He felt like there was no coming back from it now. He'd suspected it all along, but didn't realize that something that had been so slow to build to could culminate into this so fast. Somewhere in between Dirty Dancing, cupcakes, and True American, it had happened, and now he loved her. Nick loved Jess. And not just loved her, but was _in_ love with her, and had been for some time.

And now he knew she loved him back.

So, naturally, it was time to panic.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/n: this story has been so much fun to write! Chapters 5 & 6 are finished, and i'm super excited to share them with you all! Also, I'm wondering if the switching between Nick & Jess's POVs is tripping anyone up. It just feels natural to write it that way, so I don't know if I'm breaking some kind of writing rule lol. Reviews are encouraged!**

Nick had been acting weird all day.

First, there was the knife incident.

"What are you doing with that?" Nick seemed grumpier than normal this morning.

"Nicholas, today's the day! I am preparing an assortment of cheeses, fruits and poppied gluten-free, zero carb bagels. For Cece."

"But why are you using the screwdriver?"

Looking down at the knife in his hand, a confused Schmidt turned into an angry Schmidt. "This is a supremely delicate and sharp Laguiole cheese knife. Made by monks in the Swiss monasteries! Please, please tell me you're joking, because Nicholas, I swear - "

"Calm down! I'm joking! Mostly. Wait, Cece's coming over?"

"Yeah man, she finally took my call, said she'd give me 5 minutes to tell her why it took me a month to figure things out. I made a pie chart and timed myself, allowing for two minutes for foreplay." Schmidt grinned excitedly.

"Jar." Nicks phone rang and he saw Jess's name on the caller ID. Letting out a deep breath, he picked up. "Hey, what's up?"

"Heeey, just a little sad I didn't get to see you this morning, I had an early meeting with the principal. I was wondering if you'd like to get lunch with me?" Jess sure was chirpy today.

Nick looked around the room, anxiously searching for an idea to get him out of this. "Uh, I wish I could but uh..."

"Because I'd really like to talk to you about something"

There it was. He hadn't imagined what he heard last night, and now she wanted to talk about it. _Why do girls always have to talk about it? _This could only end one way, with Nick making an ass of himself and Jess finally realizing he was a lost cause. She'd say 'I Love You' and Nick, being the chicken-shit he is, would cut and run. And that'd be it for him, Jess would never speak to him again, and he's crawl back into that black hole of despair that Caroline had dug for him to wallow in. _I have to get out of this_ "...uh, yeah, well the thing is..." and then his eyes fell on Schmidt's abandoned knife... _even if I have to take someone with me_. Quickly grabbing it, he looked at Schmidt, who was carefully arranging fruit and cheese on a plate, took a deep breath, and jabbed it into Schmidt's hand.

"AIIIIEEEEEEE!" Schmidt screeched, breathing out in short bursts.

Jess heard the pained noise on the other end. "Nick? What was that? Are you ok?"

"Oh, yeah! Uh, Schmidt just cut his hand, I gotta take him to the hospital, so okay, bye." Hanging up the phone, A shocked Schmidt was howling.

"WHAT THE HELL, MAN? Did you just stab me?!"

"Schmidt I am SO sorry! I just, I didn't know what to do, I panicked, and I didn't even go that deep! Look it's barely bleeding, I thought you said it was sharp?"

"It's a top of the line CHEESE knife, it's delicate! Monks don't make meat knives, they require a stronger hand to meld! Idiot!" Schmidt looked over his would, which wasn't really as bad as it could have been, but still needed a stitch or two.

"Come on, I'll drive you to the hospital, I'm so sorry" Nick started towards the door, but Schmidt stayed glued to his spot, staring at the food.

"COME ON man! I'll call Cece, I'll explain, it'll be fine, lets go." Nick went back to him, pulling a speechless Schmidt out the door.

* * *

"Is he alright?" Jess asked, genuine concern in her voice.

"Nick said it was like three stitches, they were almost done when he called." Cece replied. At first, she had thought the call was just another excuse, but Nick was a horrible liar, so she knew it must be true. But Schmidt was usually so careful with his cheese knives. "Anyway, I guess I'll have to give him his five minutes tomorrow. You okay? You seem kinda out of it today."

Jess looked up from the papers she was grading. It was her lunch hour and since she couldn't meet Nick like she had planned, she'd decided to get some work done. "I'm fine. Just tired I guess, I was up late. So what are you going to do? He told Elizabeth it was over like 2 weeks ago. Are you really still mad?"

Cece sighed. "I'm not mad, just... disappointed, you know? I didn't think it would take him so long to choose. Maybe I missed my chance."

"Cece, come on. You're his lion fish."

"His what?"

"You know, his lion fish? Because you, you know, the wry smile, fish breasts... never mind." Jess sighed and pulled out her phone. Shooting a quick text to Nick 'we need to talk dinner tonight?' she waited for a response. A moment later, she heard a beep. 'Sure'. Smiling, she went back to her papers.

Looking down at her chest, Cece seemed confused. "Fish breasts?"

* * *

Helping Schmidt out of the car, Nick felt only a slight twinge of regret for stabbing his friend, considering he had just spent the last two hours listening to Schmidt haughtily explain the differences between cheese and meat knives. Once back inside the loft, he breathed a sigh of relief. It was empty, save for a sleeping Winston.

Schmidt plopped onto the couch, admiring the nurses handiwork. "They really know how to treat a fella at that place, with the things and stuff."

Making his way towards the couch with a Heisler, Nick was glad to see the pain pills had kicked in. "Yeah, feeling better buddy?" Taking a swig, he sat down beside his friend.

"Uh-huh. Hey Nick? Can I ask you a question? No big deal really, because you know I love ya. But why'd you stab me?"

"I didn't stab you"

"I'm not that hopped up, Nick. I distinctly remember arranging fruit in a concentric circle pattern when you forcefully placed a blade through my hand. I'd call that a stabbing."

"First of all, it was barely a knife, okay, the damn thing bent going down. Second of all... I panicked. Jess wanted to have lunch..and talk."

"I knew it – I knew you guys wouldn't last a whole month! What'd you do?"

"Nothing! I didn't do anything. I just – I overheard something I shouldn't have, and I think she's gonna want to talk about it, and I don't know what to say." Looking at Schmidt's quietly curious countenance, Nick felt encouraged to go on. "She said she loves me."

"You heard her say it?"

"Yeah, she was talking to Winston, and I wasn't eavesdropping, I just came out to see where she had gone, and I heard them in the kitchen, and... do you think she meant it?"

Schmidt looked thoughtful for a moment. Did he think Jess could fall in love with Scruffy McGrumpus? If he didn't know her better than he did, he'd say not a chance. But as it was, he _did_ know Jess Day, and if she was gonna fall for any of her roommates, it was gonna be the worst choice of the three. Besides, if Cece could love Schmidt, wasn't anything possible? Quickly coming to the conclusion that the female species as a whole was just too flawed with poor judgment for him to question it, he wasn't sure how best to help his friend.

"I think you're gonna have to ask her."

Hearing his phone beep, he read Jess's request for dinner. Sending back a 'sure', he took stock of the situation. He was gonna have to go bigger to get out this time.

* * *

When Jess woke up this morning, she had made a decision. She and Nick were gonna talk. They were gonna decide, once and for all, what they were. And it was gonna happen as soon as he woke up. Which he didn't. And so she began to get ready for work, and had a quick bite, and a cup of Irish breakfast, making a note to pick up some more Lady Grey tea on the way home. But when her time to leave came and went with still no sign of him, she trudged on out the door, planning to catch him at lunch. But that didn't work out, and now she was on her way home. Knowing he didn't have to work tonight, she planned to make a nice dinner a have a quiet, serious night in with her … roommate? Roomfriend?And there was the problem she hoped to solve. So stopping off to get a few groceries, she made her way home. As she made her way to the door, she could hear a loud bass coming from the loft, and upon opening the door, she knew her plans were about to change.

There were people everywhere. The music was so loud she could barely hear herself think. Looking around for a face she knew, she spotted Schmidt in the kitchen chatting up a girl."

"And you see this one? This is the one that cut me. I know it doesn't look,like much, but this was made with such precision that the monks who make them go blind after a year." Schmidt was playing his damaged hand to full advantage as Jess approached him. "Schmidt!" she yelled over the noise. "What's going on? Where's Nick?"

"Hey Jess! Nick thought it'd be a good idea to have some people over. I havn't seen him in a while tho - "

"JESS!" A very wobbly Nick had spied her and jumped down from the table. "Jessjessjessjessjess, come 'er" And planting a sloppy kiss on her head he took another swig of beer.

Infuriated, Jess pulled away. "Nick! What are you doing? I thought we were going to have dinner?"

"Yeah, no, I don't want to do that. Less talkie, more drinkie." Placing the beer on the counter, Nick began to walk away. Grabbing him by the crook of his arm, Jess led him to her room, slamming the door behind her.

"What is going on with you? I haven't seen you all day, I thought we were going to talk?"

"We are talking!" Nick smirked at his cleverness.

"No, Nick. Talk about us! We can't keep putting this off, how are we gonna move forward if we can't even -"

"Why do we have to move forward? I like it fine where we're at. No pressure, just us hanging out, having fun. No labels, no one loves anybody, just - "

"What did you say? Who said they love someone?" Jess asked, scared of the answer.

"WINSTON!"

"You call me?" Winston poked his head in the door.

Ignoring him, Jess turned back to Nick, anger flashing in her eyes. "What are you talking about?"

"I heard you. Tell Winston. You love me."

Winstons eyes' widened, and looking around the room, decided it was time to leave. "Wait – this isn't my room! My bad guys, you just keep – and i'll go." Fleeing the scene, Winston ducked back into the crowd of people.

Jess narrowed her eyes at Nick. "Were you _spying_ on me?"

Taken aback, Nick readied to defend himself, but the alcohol was making it really hard to form coherent sentences. "No, I wasn't spying, I just – it was an accident, and I heard it."

They were both quiet for a beat, and Nick spoke again.

"Did you mean it?

Jess didn't know what to do. _Yes I meant it. I mean it now. _But she wouldn't be the first to say it, not like this. What if he wasn't there yet? They didn't even know what to call each other! "No, of course not! I was just rambling, it was late. It's way too early for that, so.."

Nick turned his pained face from her, trying and failing to hide the effect of her words. Looking at the ground, he mumbled. "Yeah, well, I agree. So. Glad we're on the same page."

Jess felt the tears starting to well up in her, cursing herself for not being honest. As she caught his brown eyes in hers she saw there a number of emotions – hurt, anger, confusion. And she wanted nothing more that to take him into her arms and erase those feelings from his heart, but she simply could not will herself to move forward. And so she stood there in silence.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Nick had somehow managed to avoid Jess yet again. Although, this time was substantially easier as she hadn't wanted to speak to him. As far as he knew, she had spent most of the day shopping with Cece, so by the time she got home, he had already left for his shift at the bar.

It was a pretty lackluster crowd for a Saturday. He worked the bar, going through the motions while his mind was hard at work trying to figure out how much of a dumb ass he really was. _Why had he said he agreed? Why didn't he just tell her the truth? Why was he such a coward? _And on top of all this, he just plain _missed_ her. All the hiding and evading, he felt like he hadn't breathed in days.

"Hey man, quiet tonight." Winston said, with Schmidt following behind and taking a seat at the bar. Nick was somewhat surprised to see them here on a Saturday. "I thought you were gonna be at Daisy's tonight." he stated, beginning to mix them their drinks.

"I was, but Schmidt Downey Jr. here was bouncing off the walls obsessing over something Cece said, or meant, or might have meant.." he sighed. "I couldn't leave him like that."

Schmidt began talking animatedly. "I'm not obsessed, I'm just thorough. Nick, back me up here. When a woman says 'your chut-e-ney stained my shirt', is she saying I use too much? Is she saying she expects me to pay for a new shirt? Because if I can't go around buying new shirts every time I don't want my hair looking like yours!"

Winston stepped back in. "Did you ever consider maybe she just doesn't like it?"

Shocked, Schmidt immediately dismissed the idea. "Not possible! Whats not to like? The smell of the ocean off the cape on a crisp fall morning? Please Winston, don't give your opinion if it's just going to be nonsense."

Nick put on his best turtle face, and nodded his head silently. Looking back down at the bar and wiping an imaginary wet spot, Winston watched him gaze into nothing. "Hey. You talk to Jess?"

Keeping his eyes on the towel, Nick continued wiping. "Nope."

Winston shook his head at this. "So what's your move now? You just gonna keep avoiding eachother? I'm telling you man, this is it! Don't wuss out."

Nick looked up. "You callin' me a wuss?"

"Are you a wuss?"

"Stop sayin' I'm a wuss!"

"I'm just callin' it like I see it"

Schmidt jumped in "Hey, hey, come on! We all know Nick not a wuss. A bad dresser incapable of emoting, definitely, but not a wuss."

Winston kept his eye on Nick. "So then, you're not a wuss. What are you going to do?"

Nick had had it. "What am I supposed to do? She can't even admit it to me after I heard her say it! It's pretty clear where she is. She's just hoping it'll wear off so she can move on. Why else would she lie, other than to keep me guessing? What is she waiting for, for me to say it first? I won't do that, not again."

Schmidt looked nervously at Winston and back to Nick. Sighing, Nick quietly chuckled to himself. "This is just how it was supposed to be, you know? I get a glimpse of what it is to be happy, and it's just too good a thing to keep hold of."

"Pull out of it man!" Winston snapped. "The only person messing this up is _you_!"

"He's right man." Schmidt added. "I mean look at me and Cece. I pushed her away because I couldn't get over my own crap, and look what happened. She almost _married another man_. You gotta get over yourself and talk to her."

Taking their advice in stride, went about his work while they continued to argue about hair product. Winston had been right, though Nick would never admit it. He was being a wuss. Everything he had done up to this point was out of fear. Fear of the unknown, fear of disappointment. But now a new fear was creeping in. The fear of losing her. _I can't lose her. _Roommates wasn't an option anymore. They couldn't go back to that now, he'd never survive living with her without being with her. Watching her go on dates, bringing them home. _No_! He wanted to be the last one to kiss her, the last one to tell her goodnight, the last one to brush the stray hair from her face. For good. And the only thing standing in his way was fear. _To hell with that_ he thought. He had made a decision.

* * *

Jess had sneaked out as early as possible. She had a lot on her mind, not the least of which was her idiot of a … whatever he was. Stupid Nick Miller.

So she spent most of the day with Cece, shopping and trying not to think about it.

Cece had problems of her own. "So I told him that he stained my shirt, and he flipped out and started quoting the product description! What the hell is a 'free flowing spirit fall?'" Noticing Jess hadn't answered, she questioned whether she was even listening.

"Hm? Sorry, I'm just... ugh! Why did I lie to him?" Jess was fed up with herself.

Cece countered. "Was it a lie?"

Jess thought about this. "Yes. And now I think he thinks what I'm thinking but is too mad at me for lying about thinking it. Ya think?"

Processing this rush of words, Cece paused. "I think you have to talk to him. I know that seems like a really ….simple... solution, but you can't just keep avoiding it hoping it will disappear. Believe me, your feelings will catch up with you." Spoken with a pang of what sounded like regret, Jess knew her friend was right. She had lied to Nick when he asked her. She wanted to tell him the truth, but what if he didn't feel the same? She always did this, she always fell first, only to be disappointed. But with Nick, everything had been different, from their first kiss to their last one – _oh my gosh, had that really been three days ago? _- she felt only one thing was sure: that Nick would be there no matter what. And now she was sure of another thing: that she wanted no one else. She had to fix this. She would talk to him when he got home from work. No excuses this time, he would sit, he would listen, and she would get a straight answer out of him if it meant she had to kiss it out.

**A/n: The next/last chapter is rated a mild M**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/n: And our story concludes here. This chapter is rated a mild M, that content is below the page break if you'd like to avoid it. Which would make me sad. Why would you want me to be sad? Thanks all for sticking with the story!**

Nick made his way up to the loft with a quickly weakening resolve. If she wasn't awake, should he wake her? No, the last time he woke her in the night, she yanked out a tuft of chest hair. Absentmindedly he rubbed the still sparse patch and headed for the door.

Upon hearing the door open, Jess quickly put down her book and sat up on the couch. She had turned out most of the lights, so Nick didn't see her when he went into the kitchen. She stood up, and hearing her, Nick turned around.

"Hey" She said softly.

"Hey" he replied.

They were quiet for a few moments, letting the tension in the air settle so that they both felt the pressure on their lungs, making breaths small and muted. Feeling Jess's blue eyes more than seeing them, Nick knew it was now or never and opened his mouth to speak. But it wasn't his voice he heard next.

"What are we?" Jess asked. The question hung in the air as she stepped towards the kitchen.

Still silent. Nick watched her move towards him, and saw in her eyes a mix of fear and dread. Was it possible she was as scared as he was? Taking a breath, he spoke.

"Well, I'm not sure what you mean." _Wuss_.

Jess cast him a knowing look. "I mean us. I don't need like a label or anything, but, I mean, I was just thinking that we haven't really – talked – and it seems like this big elephant you know? So we should just get it out of the way, just rip it. Like a band aid."

Nick chuckled at that. "Jess, I've seen you try to rip off a band aid, so I'd say we've still got while more to think about it." But seeing Jess' eyes flash at him, he changed tactic. Clearing his throat, he started, "uh, well, I guess.." he looked down at his hands, the counter, his shirt, anything to focus on while the word screamed in his head, begging him to say it. To hell with it.

"You're my girlfriend."

Schmidt's door whipped open, and he sauntered past them to the fridge, not getting caught in the deadlocked stare they had going.

"What. The. Hell. Where's all the whipped cream? Dammit, Nick!"

"What?! Geez, calm down, it's in the freezer!"

"Why did you put it there? Great, now it's frozen solid. Guess Cece and I will have to play 'Lost in the Klondikes' tomorrow night. Maybe you should lay off the Jess Juice for a while, it' clearly impairing your judgment."

Watching them argue, Jess's thoughts were still on what Nick had said. Seeing him there, her – _boyfriend_, brought a smile to her face. Not just because of what he said but because now the three words that had been forming in her head for days didn't sound so insane. Nick watched Schmidt as he returned to his room, seemingly oblivious to what he had interrupted, and when Nick turned back around to finish their conversation, Jess had closed in on him and claimed the words from his mouth.

* * *

Walking her slowly back towards his room and laying her onto the bed, Nick began to search her. The feeling of his hands on her hip, then her thigh, sent jolts through her body, and murmuring into his kiss, she felt the feeling wash over her, relaxing into his body. Breaking their kiss, he lifted his head, and looked into her eyes.

"I meant what I said. In the kitchen." He breathed out.

Still dazed, Jess replied, "Kitchen?"

"Yeah. I meant it. This is what I want, you and me. No confusion. I'm puttin' a label on it." He smiled down at her.

"Oh." she whispered, and with that he re-claimed her mouth. Steadily, his kisses moved down her chest and he untied her fluffy pink robe, groaning as he took in the sight before him. Quickly becoming lost in the sensations he was causing, her thoughts tried to focus on what he had said, and the relief in knowing he wanted what she did. And there were those three words again, creeping into her mind. She had to keep them to herself, she wasn't ready, they weren't ready.

And suddenly all her thoughts disappeared as she felt his mouth on the inside of her thigh, and before she realized what he was doing, an overwhelming rush of pleasure raked her body. Breathless, her mind popped, bright white lights filling her mind.

"Do you like this Jess?

The words forming on her tongue, she wasn't ready to give him the satisfaction of knowing what he was doing to her.

"Tell me..." he growled below her. Unable to take much more, she stuttered, "I...oh my God, Nick... I love it, I love... love you" she cried. And everything stopped. Her eyes popped open and she realized what she had said. _Oh my God, what have I done? _Forcing herself to look down, blue eyes met brown, wide with terror.

"What?" He whispered incredulously

"No, Nothing, it was nothing." She said in a small raspy voice averting her eyes from his. "No-thiiiing." she sang softly.

"Say it again." He breathed, silence filling the room

"No." She made a move to sit up.

"No, Jess. SAY IT!" Coming up to face her, He pinned her hands above her head, looking straight into her.

"NO!" She said fighting his grip

"Stop fighting me! SAY IT AGAI-"

"I said I love you! Big surprise, the one who always loves more, saying I love you first!

Nick pulled back, releasing her wrists as she flung her hands to her face. Slowly, softly, he pried her hands from her face, and looking into her huge tear filled eyes, whispered, "What makes you think you're the one who loves more this time?" and within seconds his lips were upon hers in a bruising kiss. Frantically he engulfed her mouth, and she stopped resisting him. He ran his hands desperately over her body, fire surging through him. When his hand swept over her stomach, she whimpered into his mouth, her heart racing. He quickly pulled back from her hot mouth to rid her of that cursed robe as laid kisses from her neck to between her breasts, nipping at her skin there. As he reveled in the softness he found there, he felt the words surge up inside of him, demanding to be heard.

"I...I love you too. Is that crazy?" Watching for her reaction, a sleepy smile crossed her face. "We're both crazy then." she whispered. Moving to her ear he gently bit her ear lobe, "Tell me how much you love me, again." He said with such a low grumble it sent tingles up Jess's neck.

She smiled at his persistence and put her hand to the side of his face pushing him flush up against her cheek. "You're gonna have to make me." She said in his ear, her breath against his skin teasing him. He shivered, reeling over how much her voice got to him.

Looking down at her he gripped her hair in his hands and took her mouth in his fiercely. She struggled to concentrate reaching for his shirt and pulling it off as she broke their kiss to run her fingers though the hair on his chest. Slowing the pace, she moved her hands to the waist of his pants, tugging at the band in a feeble attempt to discard them. Noticing the change in tempo, he drew himself up and removed them himself and pushed her back down on the bed. Needing to return the urgency, she raised up forcing him to flip over to his back as she rested her legs on either side of his thighs. He sat up to meet her as she moved her hips slowly at first over his growing desire for her, but not letting him enter her.

"Oh god." Nick whispered in tortured desire clinging to her tightly as he began to lose all thought and control. Her hips began to pick up the pace as they both continued their passionate torture on one another, knowing just where to touch, like they had been doing it all their lives. Wrapping his hand around the back of her neck he pulled her forehead to his looking her in the eyes as he reached with his other hand between her thighs. Her mouth open and reaching for his lips, he held her at a small distance so he could see her face when he touched her.

"Jess." was all he said as he touched her the way he knew would send her near the edge. Continuing to work magic with his fingers he pulled her neck to his mouth biting her gently, as her hips moved now seemingly involuntarily.

"What do you want..." He said in her ear seductively

"You ...know what...I want." She said out of breath, "You." She finished as he thrust his fingers faster into her. The electric jolts he sent through her were all at once too much and not enough. She wanted to cry out, but her mind was so bombarded with the sensations he was driving into her with each thrust of his hand that all she could see, feel, hear was lights popping.

"Nick!" She cried out and then took his bottom lip in her teeth. Removing his hand from her he grabbed under her thighs forcefully and turned her around once again laying on top of her. He surprised her by quickly entering her, unable to wait any longer, causing her to let out a loud moaning scream. He thrust into her harder as she met his every move.

Sensing she was getting too close, Nick slowed the pace.

"Don't stop, Nick." She said still breathless and her eyes closed. Darkly smiling to himself, he though _Honey, I am nowhere near ready to stop._

"Open your eyes, I want to see you." He told her. She obeyed as he slowed down his movements even more and she looked at him with a questioning look.

"Slower." He said catching his breath. Understanding his desires as she stared into his brown eyes, she slowly rolled her hips to meet his as she ran her hands down his back. "Like this?" She asked quietly and innocently. Nick didn't answer, lost in the feel of her, but only put his lips to hers. She slowly moved her hips in a circular movement, him still inside her, as he gripped her thighs. "Jess." The warmth of her surrounding him was almost too much to bear. Willing his mind to hold on, Nick kept his eyes focused on hers, burning into them as if trying to speak to her. What he saw there in the deep blue pools drove him forward, sending such a rush of desire he had never felt before. It had never been this way with anyone. All at once so natural and mysterious, so intoxicating as to drive him to distraction.

"Nick." She breathed still reeling from having him inside her this way as she stroked his cheek, her hips still moving.

"Tonight's not enough." he said, desperation rising in his voice. "It will never be enough."

Pressing his lips to hers they engaged in a desperate kiss once again feeling the urgency between each other rising. He picked up the pace yet again unable to stand it any longer and she met his call. Their breathing becoming quick again as they clung to one another rising and falling together on the bed.

"Nick! Oh, Nick!" He thrust into her harder moving his body on top of hers and pinned her hands above her head. She muttered his name below him pleading for more and telling him how much she loved him over and over. Unable to speak he grunted into her opened mouth trying to stifle her loud cries. Crying his name one last time sent him over the edge and they both came together, never breaking their gaze from each others eyes. He watched her continue to gasp and shiver below him from the final shock waves, in awe at how beautiful she looked in that moment. Lying down down on top of her he rested his head on her chest, not wanting the closeness to end. Catching her breath she stroked his temple and kissed the top of his head full of now dampened dark hair, breathing in his scent. Neither moved for quite some time, content to be lying in one anothers arms, caressing each other. Finally, Nick lifted himself from her. Jess immediately felt the emptiness and moved her body as close to his as she could get, feeling lost without him so close. Resting her head in the crook of his neck as he wrapped his arms around her, she had never felt more safe and happy just being near him.

"So, you got anything you'd like to say to me?" He asked.

"Nothing comes to mind." She said teasingly. "I think you just erased most of my memory." She seductively joked to him nuzzling his neck as he chuckled.

"Is that right?" He said

"Mm-hm. Blew my mind right out my ears. Bwoooh!" She smiled giving him a gentle kiss.

Nicks infamous turtle face made it's last appearance of the night as she relaxed into his side.

Resting a moment more, Jess looked up at the ceiling. "Nick?"

"Yeah?"

"Will you be my boyfriend?"

"Well, you know how I feel about labels – besides, you sure you want this clown as your boyfriend?" he teased.

Lightly tugging at his hair, she said " you're _my_ clown"

Nick chuckled at this, and smiling into the face of Jess Day, he knew there was no way she was going win this one. He was definitely gonna be the one who loves more.


End file.
